At Least Now, I Have Hope

So, Cameron says, (Jess your lingo is rubbing off on me). So
Cameron says,.... "at least now, I have hope"..... to chantal on
saturday. It feels great to be telling you all that Cameron will soon be out of the hospital and very much with us.

I can't even begin to explain, Cam fought a lonely battle this week.
From seizures and feeding tube to withdrawals from heavy
medication. Initially Dr's said he was great and would be out
soon, just needed to up the anti-seizure meds and run an MRI test
to make sure there is nothing abnormal in the brain that caused
the seizure. It later turned out to be a much longer stay.

After the seizures subsided he had a damaged throat and went on a
feeding tube. The MRI could not be done becausRe he would not quit
moving. His time there was also prolonged due to a waiting line for using the MRI machine, mostly because of so many patients coming in the ER around that time. An MRI is finally completed on wednesday. Sadly he did not join us on thanksgiving like we had expected. In fact, we hadn't had a conversation with him since he went in, only "yes", "no", a word here and there. And it just looked like he was angry about it all. Too many things to speak of.

Then Sat. Cam calls me after I had dropped mom off at LAX. Naturally I'm surprised, saying, Cam your there! ( excited of course ) . Then I find that Cameron is far from excited, he is confused, and afraid. He says, I have a problem and I need your help. "Oh Yeah", I'm in a
dept store and they have my bed in the middle of the store, and
the hospital is connected to it. They are just sitting over there
and I was at santa paula and they put me here and didn't tell
anyone, i've been here for two weeks without anyone knowing. Keep
in mind, that in previous days cam had been trying to get out,
pull out tubes, kicking nurses, screaming for help to Chantal and
I. etc.... After arriving I found he was visibly disturbed, and
told me to get the nurse, then I find that he has repeated the
story several times, as he began to repeat his story to me again, not realizing he had already told the story many times.

I am glad I sent a call to the family and requested a web
conference meeting. It later prepared me for how to handle him.
I explained to him that he had been taken off heavy meds and that he would be in a halfway state from dream to reality for a while. And that it today was his second day of coming off of them with about 5 days left. After talking it
through a few hours everthing came back and he began to remember most things. He apologized to the nurse for getting out of bed, pulling out tubes, calling her fat
and ugly and kicking her, and other things better left unsaid. He
said he felt like he was in a cartoon and the only way out was to
kick the characters. So he calmed down and later, he fell asleep, then that morning woke up at 1:30am , only to feel exactly how he felt earlier, with no recollection
of what happened. He asked that we not leave him, so both Chantal and I promised him that. Sad to seem him sad, because he never is. So I had to write
a letter, like in an old Adam Sandler movie, of all things, who would
think,

The letter went like this, Hey Cam, this is Curtis, if you have
woke up and are confused with where you are, I can tell you that
you are just now coming of some heavy meds and while you come off
you will be in a halfway state....etc etc.... you began coming out
yesterday at noon and today it is sunday 5am, you are on day two
and you will feel like this for a while, also that you haven't been alone,
mom and Chantal have been here everyone day and me also except one day
...etc. etc........Before leaving that morning at 7am i gave him the note for approval.
he looked at me like i was an imbecile when i showed it to him. and then later sunday night he
thanked me for it.

Anyway, progress went much better after dialysis on monday
thathelped with removing the drug residuals in the blood. This
afternoon he moved out of CCU and onto the 4th floor. He is happy about that and so are we. On Sunday Chantal found him a christmas tree ornament and brought it to him.

And written on the ornament there was a word. --HOPE--


Curtis

County Memorial Hospital

Yes, it is true, Cameron is now in the ICU at County Memorial Hospital. His condition for the most part has stabilized and we will have a much better outlook on his situation by tomorrow evening.


This recent condition began Friday as he was beginning a regular 4 hour dialysis process. It is now clear that he began to have a massive seizure and some has been said about a deficient fistula. He was transported to an ER in Santa Paula while a nurse called numbers in his cell to attempt family contact. There was a moment of panic since he was there alone and nurses did not know who to contact. They were able to connect with Susie (Cameron's sister in Idaho) who then took up the job of notifying everyone and clearing up the incomplete and disturbing information from the staff at the dialysis center.



Mom and Chantal were soon with him in Santa Paula, After a couple hours he was transported to County Memorial Hospital in Ventura. This was requested and we were glad for that since CMH is where he has been and staff are familiar with his needs.

Information around the fistula is a little unclear, it is basically a vein rerouted to an artery on the arm and has an external entry point for the dialysis process. This allows for a cleaner and safer method of dialysis. During the initial surgery to create the fistual the vein and artery may not have connected as well as they should have. That should not be the focus though since the seizure is the clear issue and Dr's feel the dosage of his anti-seizure medicine should now be greater.



It doesn't feel too much like a set back. It mostly is a visit to control his blood pressure and stabilize processes while determining a level of prescribed meds. His blood pressure was in the dangerous range of 245/215 and can be the result of not having dialysis. There are some positive things coming out of this. He may have felt low because of not so great dialysis treatments. The med dosage for seizures will now be more appropriate. Tonight we had to tell Cam that he had nothing to worry about for recovery in his left side ambulatory movement. Mostly because, it was his left arm that almost lifted a nurse friday as she tried to restrain him to the bed. It was his left hand that delivered a healthy pinch to mom's hand as she assisted during the ugent matter. He is now alert, looking healthy, and sunday night he told us he was feeling much better.

Welcome Home......

Cameron returned home to his apt in Ventura California friday of this last weekend. Friends greeted him with gifts and visited to celebrate his release. Mom (Mary) attended also, she flew down earlier in the week and will be in the area until Saturday.

Some pics should be posted next week. He has made significant progress and on Saturday completed a long walk on the beach. His schedule is full with physical therapy three times a week, along with what he does on his own at home, cognitive therapy for mental development, visual therapy (to expand their range to the left), dialysis 3 - 4 times a week at (each is a four hour visit), and this week it is an apt each day with the kidney, heart, and brain Dr's.

Right now his concern is high blood pressure. As I currently understand it, the issue with blood pressure is that the kidney cleanses the blood by passing it through a straw like tube and tiny extentions filter out bad particles that are the result of a regular cycle. If the blood were a city then the kidney would be its trash disposal service. Anyway, when the blood pressure is high or moving with much more force, it will cause the tubes to constrict and therefore the tubes are not able to cleanse the blood as thoroughly while the blood spills over and around it. So because of this he has additional medication to counteract high blood pressure. One new med (Kepplar i think) has a side effect of dizzines, nausea, irritable skin, etc. and its expected that these effects will be prominent for 4 weeks until the body adjusts to the intake. I reviewed the side effects of all of his other meds (prednisone, lisinopril, etc. and they all have similar side effects). Not the best thing for Cam as he works hard to regain normal functions and cope with standing and movement exercises. Its almost like the doctors are sending Cam off to run a relay race and before he goes they say, "hey good luck, but wait one minute while we tie these bricks to your ankles.") Not sure why they do that.

I would be painting a false picture if I were to say he is doing great. His body is adjusting to a serious environmental change from intravenous to normal intake. This can result in muscle aches, and elevated pain in many other areas. He has a continual high low cycle of nausea and doesn't sleep throught the night, instead, he sits up and rocks while coping with pain. He is on a lot of medication, a lot of it is new, and that in itself can make anyone less attentive and social. So all In all from my perspective, I have faith that we will see significant improvement over the next few weeks as his body adjusts to new meds and the blood pressure is controlled.

It is good that he is home and on his own, although, there is a feeling of urgency, to be aggressive in Physical, Mental, Visual and Social exercises. This is because the effects of a stroke can be reversed mostly in the 6 months following the initial event. After that, the body settles in and doesn't allow much more improvement in most cases. Cameron is not quite at the level he intends to be at and exhibits visible frustration in it all. So we are sure to help him as much as possible, and in keeping his spirits high throughout this personal pursuit.

I believe it is important for all of us on Cameron's support team to stop, slow down, and meet Cameron on the level for where he is at, and listen to what his spirit and voice say. Many studies conclude that several mental illnesses and resulting physical ailments with men and woman in their thirties and aftewards are caused by peopel not speaking their minds or working through their stress and mental anguish. Generally, because they do not have anyone to talk too (or they refuse to talk to anyone) or that they feel they can relate to. By this they mean, expressing the things that frustrate you, make you happy, or make you excited each day. For some reason it is important for our bodies to be a part of life and the people that are in it. So that if, people buld a life of no relationships, or avoid their family, do not have friends etc. they can develop mental disorders. Many of these people are business people and workaholics such as myself, and they go to therapy in order to work through them all. Me myself, I have anxiety and a bit of OCD (Obssessive Compulsive Disorder). The first time I went to the Doc and he told me I wasn't sick and it was anxiety, I could have slapped myself. I refused the meds and decided to work on stopping myself when I begin to bottle up stress, etc. As well as work harder on building supportive and more long lasting relationships, verses the disposable relationships I so love to maintain. Anyway......

So the magic in professional mental therapy is simply that the person is able to speak their mind and eventually know that the listener understands them and this in turn makes the person feel normal and not like an alien on a foreign planet. It also allows the person to work through their mental conflicts and better understand themself. Overall, it promotes mental health, and since the brain is the issuer of commands to all major functions in the body, it also promote good physical health. So I'm not saying that Cameron has a mental illness, I'm just relating the ideology of it all to him as a way of stressing how important it is for us to stop, slow down, and listen, as well as return some words of understanding while he continues in fighting his fight. I extend gratitude and thanks to all of you and especially Chantal for your support. Have a Happy Thanksgiving.

Curtis